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Seeing Others Through Their Pain

Updated: Jun 8, 2022

Abuse of all kinds, hopelessness, rejection, judgmental thoughts or actions, loneliness, hurt, fear, insecurity, depression, low self-esteem, and loss have zero concern for gender, ethnicity, or nationality. Pain has no interest in who you are, where you are from, or how you appear. Pain comes in many forms, and it will affect us at some point in our lives.


I came from a life of abuse in various forms. I was physically, sexually, verbally, and emotionally abused by family, friends, peers, and strangers. I dealt with sexual harassment, rejection, judgment, fear, and low self-esteem as a female. People made me feel like a piece of meat or trash. People rejected me for being a bold, confident, and outspoken woman. I was judged for what I did or didn't do, how I looked, how I talked, my mannerisms, and my personality. Others looked down on me for doing things wrong and sometimes doing what was right.


My parents rejected and neglected me often, which left me feeling uncared for, unwanted, and despised. People often mistook my lashing out or rebellion as an out-of-control teen or young adult. They never stopped to ask why or have a conversation with me to find out what was behind the behavior. If family, friends, or leaders in my life had asked the hard questions and listened to the answers, they would have known the truth. The truth is that I was afraid, angry, hurt, lonely, depressed, bitter, insecure, and suicidal. Who would want to live feeling like no one cared, as if you didn't matter, or God created them to be a doormat? I didn't. I spent most of my adult life feeling rejected, disregarded, overworked, and taken advantage of in the workplace and volunteer roles.


My heart has been to help, care for, and love others. I want to treat others better than the people who treated me growing up. You know the saying, "treat others as you want to be treated," well, that is what I had tried to do, even when others didn't see it that way.


The truth is that many people go through the same feelings I did. People that have been abused, rejected, abandoned, discriminated against, carried addiction, battle anger, bitterness, and negative have a story. When you see people, do you see their stories, or do you look at them with disgust, anger, or hatred? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the people you turn your nose up to or look down upon have been through the same things as you? Instead of looking at others as though you are perfect somehow, why not look at others through their pain. The same pain that you have encountered. The same rejection you have felt.


We should all love one another, help, and pray for each other. God has shown me what unconditional love is and given me compassion for others. With God, I found freedom, and He can provide you with freedom, too. If you have questions or want to know how I found freedom, feel free to ask.

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